Amanda Stanhaus

I’m glad I have reached the point in my life that I am not waiting for boys to mature into men, and instead I am waiting for my bonds to mature into money!

There are many types of bonds and I had a bit too much creative time on my hands, so below I describe them in their boy equivalents. Click on the bold for the classic definitions.

Callable bond: His ex-girlfriend takes him back.

Corporate bond: The well dressed, business type that meets me on time unless the market is hurting.

Coupon bond: Without fail, I’m given gifts twice a year.

Discount bond: He is still hurting from his last relationship, but if I stick it out I could be one lucky lady.

Government bond: The young politico raising money to make the world a better place.

Junk bond: Good at sweet talking $$ out of me. Not sure if I will every get my $$ back…but if I do, it will be much more than I gave him.

Premium bond: Top of the line trust funder.

Zero coupon bond: The type who gives no gifts, but I’m well-rewarded at the maturity.

(Originally published on Amanda Stanhaus’s financial literacy blog: XO, Bettie.)